I have had a horrid, horrid, horrid day. I am not kidding. I don't want to bring everyone down though, so I thought I would give you all a laugh, and a peek into my nuttball family. (One of many, you can be assured.) I am beginning to feel a creeping fear that somehow, someone in my family will stumble upon my blog... my family will definitely overreact... the term "bread natzi" comes to mind...
Either way, here we go. (sorry if I disappoint, this will not be one of my better efforts.) Now, this is somewhat of a visual blog. In order to truly appreciate the ridiculousness of the situation, you must actually picture what I am describing. Close your eyes... (*tick, tick, tick, tick...*) take a deep breath... (*tick, tick, tick, tick...*) count backwards from 100... (*tick, tick, tick, tick...*) LOL!
My family suffers from panic attacks. We all have our weird hangups. But you can be sure, at any given time, one of us is having heart palpatations, sweaty palms, and difficulty breathing. My aunt suffers from them the worst. She has complete breakdowns, and for about 6 months of the last 12, rarely left her house. Mine, on the other hand, are quite mild. I get them the worst when there is some sort of confrontation going on. I just can't handle it.
Now, for some odd reason, my mom, my aunt and I all have driving related panic attacks. (I have gotten some sort of control over mine the last few years, but they used to be really bad.) Here is where the humor lies:
My mom gets horrible panic attacks when she is forced to drive on the interstate, or drive at night.
My aunt's panic kicks in when she has to drive over a bridge.
I panic when I have to drive somewhere I have never been before.
So, a few years ago, we decided it would be GREAT FUN to drive 6 hours to Shreveport and go gambling. An all girls weekend. It took us nearly 8 hours.
We started out with my mom driving, until we had to get on I-30. Then she pulled over and my aunt drove, until we hit the river bridge. Since the river bridge was still technically on the interstate, I got behind the wheel and just drove over the bridge, then pulled over, and my aunt got back behind the wheel. Until we had to go over an overpass. Then I drove, just over the overpass, and then my aunt got back behind the wheel. We were finally able to get off the interstate, and my mom took over. She made it almost all the way into Shreveport before the sun set. Then my aunt had to drive again.
Unfortunately, we had all forgotten about the bridge leading to the casinos. My aunt was already on it before we realized it. She made it halfway across, with my mom and I cheering her on, before she burst into tears, let go of the wheel, and covered her eyes. She never took her foot off the gas. I had to lean up between the front two seats and steer us until we were off the bridge and able to pull over.
We had a great time! I won $150.
Oh, and I drove all the way back, since I now knew the roads.
7 comments:
Congrats on the $150!!
I have to tell you, I didn't get my DL till I was in my late 20's because of panic attacks. I still "white knuckle" the steering wheel. I get sweaty palms and FREAK OUT if somebody honks or yells at me.
I used to have nightmares about driving a car and not being able to see over the dash and reach the brakes at the same time. The dream always ended in me driving off a bridge.
Goodtimes..
I have had driving related panic attacks too...usually having to do with driving beside 18 wheelers, or the lines on the road will seem like they are narrowing all of a sudden and I freak out cause I know my car is WAY WIDER than that little space...(did I mention I have no depth perception and am night-blind??!!)
FUN FUN FUN!!
Angel
That's too great!! I used to end up in crying fits if I was going someplace I didn't know and I got lost. Nothing can reduce me to tears quite like that feeling. Thanks for a funny funny story with a very good visual! LMAO
LOL! That was awesome :)
Too funny. I find this post very amusing.
You doing any better, Nat?
You can tell a story like nobody's business...I was cracking up.
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