I think call waiting is the worst invention ever made. Is there anything else in the world that makes you feel so unimportant? I detest it. Yes, I have it on my phone. It's part of the package. But so is call-waiting-caller-ID. I NEVER click over on call waiting. I see who is calling, make a mental note and call them back. And when I call back, I never say "Sorry, I was on the phone with Tasha. (and your call was way to unimportant for us to stop talking.)" I always make up some crazy lie. "Sorry I couldn't get the phone. I had just taken off Colby's poopy diaper and realized that I had never brought in the diapers and wipes out of the car. So I had to wrap a towel around his butt and go out to the car. While I was out there with a poopy-towel-baby, the mailman pulled up! How embarressing! So I had to sign for a package. When I came back in, Elizabeth had spilled milk all over the kitchen floor. It's just one of those crazy days!! So, what's new with you?"
Not everyone is nice enough to lie to their friends like I am.
Here is an example of what I am talking about. Last night I called... well, lets just say my mom. (Because that's exactly who I called.) Here is a transcript of our conversation.
Me: Hi, mom! What are you doing?
Mom: Oh, just watching a little bit of TV. How are you?
Me: I am good! I just called to tell you what your crazy grandson did today while I was at work!
Mom: Uh oh! That doesn't sound good! (laughs)
Me: Marty said that Colby was taking a nap, so he got the baby monitor and...
(click, click)
Mom: Oh, hang on, someone is beeping me. It might be your aunt.
(I sit holding a silent phone. I hum. I sing a little song. "If ya need me CALL me, no matter where you ARE no matter HOW far... Just call my name, i'll be there in a hurrrr REY, so try not worrrr REY..." Oh, singing makes me thirsty. I carry the dead phone to the fridge. Let's see... water. Not the flavored kind? Naah. There's some tea. good. Open the sweet n low. Hummmm daaaadaaadeeedooo. lalalalalalala. Oh the smurfs! La la lalalala LA la la la laaaaa... wonder if we have any cookies?)
(click)
Mom: You still there?
Me: Yep. Who was it?
Mom: It was your aunt. They are letting Ron out of the hospital tomorrow.
Me: Oh, that's really good! He doing alright, then?
Mom: Yes, she said that he...
(We talk about Ron for like 10 minutes.)
Mom: Well, dinner is just about ready, so I guess I need to go.
Me: Wait! I wanted to tell you what Colby did!
Mom: Oh, yeah! What did that rascal do now?
Me: Well, Marty had put him down for a nap, and had taken the monitor outside because he needed to work on Larry's motor. Well, the neighbor came over when he saw Marty outside and they were talking and...
(click, click)
Mom: Well, crap. There is someone else. Hang on just a minute.
(*sigh* I pick up the book I am reading. I read about 2 lines.)
(click)
Mom: You there?
Me: Yes, I am here.
Mom: It's Jim's mom, long distance. Can I call you back after dinner?
Me: Sure.
(click)
So I go ahead and make dinner for MY family, and we all eat, and I get Colby in the bathtub, and cleaned up, and diapered and pajamaed and then put elizabeth in the tub, and realize that my mom never called me back.
So I call her.
Mom: Hello?
Me: Hey its me, you done with dinner?
Mom: Yep, we had chicken strips and green beans and some potato salad that was leftover.
Me: Sounds good, we just had tacos. ANYWAY, I just wanted to tell you what Colby did today.
Mom: Oh yeah! So, Marty had him outside, and then what happened?
Me: No, Colby was down for a NAP, and MARTY was outside.
Mom: Oh that's right. So then what happened?
Me: So anyway, Marty was talking to the neighbor and they heard a crash and then...
(Click, click)
(OH FOR THE LOVE OF... )
Mom: Oops, someone is beeping me, hang on.
Me: Colby climbed out of his crib and fell. That's all. He fell.
Mom: O gosh! Well, hang on and let me see who this is...
Me: It's ok mom, I will talk to you tomorrow.
(click!)
So anyway, that in a nutshell is why I HATE call waiting. And what really gets me about the whole thing...
Oh, wait! I just got a new email! Wonder who that is from? YAY! I love new emails! I'll be right back...
4 comments:
Hey, what'd Colby do??? The suspense is killing me!
Cathy
LOL! So Marty was outside talking to the neighbor, and heard a crash. And then a wail... He ran in, scaled the baby gate, cracking HIS head on the door frame. (He is 6'4) He is seeing stars himself and runs into Colby's room and Colby is on the floor. He CLIMBED out of his CRIB. The mattress is as low as it will go, so I guess we are going to have to staple some mesh on top... LOL!! (kidding, of course... i think...)
ROTFLMFAO!
I know EXACTLY what you mean. Call waiting is a pet peeve of mine. I CALLED FIRST!!! If someone else really wanted to talk, they'd call sooner! LOL!
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