HANG UP AND DRIVE

I know I am in the EXTREME minority here, but I hate cell phones.

THREE times this morning, I almost got hit by cell phone drivers. One guy pulled right out in front of me and I had to swerve into the (thankfully) empty opposite lane, to keep from getting hit. As I drove past him, I beeped my horn, to let him know he almost killed me and my babies. HE WAVED at me, and kept talking. OMG!! I don't KNOW you!!! F-ing DRIVE.

The next time, I am approaching a stop sign, and a log truck driver pulls in, and of course has to swing wide into my lane. He is also on his phone, and just keeps on pulling in... he is LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. THERE ARE CARS BEHIND ME and I have no where to go. I started blaring my horn and I literally saw his "Oh, crap!" expression, before he stopped and allowed time for everyone behind me to back up.

The last lady had the right of way, and I am at yet another stop sign. She stops. She has no stop sign. She waves me on, and keeps talking on her damn phone. I point that I have a stop sign. Her son in the seat beside her points out to her that she needs to go. She STILL waves me on, and I get pissed and pull on out, about the same time that she figures out that she has the right a way... she seriously missed me by inches. And if she had hit me, my f-ing insurance would have had to pay, because I didn't have the right of way.

I hate cell phones. I hate them. I hate them in cars. I hate them in restaurants, I hate them in places of business where it is apparently no longer against the rules to have your cell on while you are working. I hate that teachers in Colby's day care all have them attached to their belts so that they can (technically) have a big screaming fight with their boyfriend while my son puts crayons up his nose. (just an example, I don't know why he put crayons - or bananas or chunks of plastic or marker lids - up his nose.) I hate having a damn conversation with someone and they tell me to "hang on" because someone important is calling. I HATE BEING ON THE RECEIVING END OF A DROPPED CALL. OMG. There is nothing more annoying than someone calling ME and saying "sspppkkkssss soooskkkkkkssss msorskssksksksssssss" WHAT???? Call me back on a real phone, or I can't help you. Can you tell this topic makes me insane??

And while I am going off... I HATE the new ear clippy phone things. First of all, you don't look cool, you look like an alien. Secondly, most people think you are talking to yourself, therefore are insane, and someone to be scared of.

So there.

And before you ask, yes I have one. BUT I never have it with me, as all my friends can tell you. Generally if you call it, you get Marty. He is a cell phone, eating, drinking, digging for crap in the floor, driver. And he thinks it is funny that he has never had a wreck and I have had three. (But they were ALL in 1993, before I learned to drive in traffic.)

Ok, I am done. Hopefully I have not ticked everyone off. (Hello?? You still there?? You are coming back right?? When I said "you look like an alien"... I didn't mean YOU.)