I wonder how parents do it when they have 3 kids, or God love 'em, 4 or more. (And I don't mean "do it"... who has time for that crap when you have kids?? Bed is for one thing. Sleeping.)
I don't get 5 minutes to myself during an average day. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything, (except maybe a house overlooking the ocean, with the waves pounding into my front yard, and warm sandy beaches... nah, I probably wouldn't even trade them for that. Probably.) but I would love to take a quiet bath, or lay down on the couch and watch something besides Blue's Clue's... (I tried that tonight with the ACM's and after 10 minutes, succumbed to the screaming chat of "KWWWOOO KWOOOO!! KWOOO KWOOOO!") or whatever.
I think this feeling of helplessness started about a week ago when Colby decided that sleep was not a necessity. He refuses to go to bed unless I go with him and even then, it is like trying to sleep with a monkey on crack. He never gets still... It is toss, turn, toss, toss, lay on top of mom, poke sister in the eye to see if she is asleep, sing the alphabet song ("a b c eoaeoaeoaeoaeoa......"), put head on mom's butt, lay down at the end of the bed, crawl under the covers and crawl back up to the head of the bed, lay on mom's head, poke sister again, go look out the window, lay back down, poke sister one more time for good measure, lay on mom, fall off the bed, cry cry cry, toss turn toss turn, lay on mom, sing "Hey, Hey" from Blues Big Musical Movie, cry when mom yells at him to "LAY DOWN AND BE STILL RIGHT NOW I AM NOT KIDDING" and then holds him tight to her where he can't move, buck, kick, try to toss.... This goes on for a MINIMUM of an hour every night.
I don't know what to do to change this routine. I never had to deal with this with Elizab... Marigold. I always just had to say, "It's bedtime!! Time for night-night!" and 9 times out of 10, she would go right to her bed and go to sleep. She is still that way. She knows how to tell time (on the digital microwave clock) and as long as it is after 9, as in 9:01 or 9:02 (or 8:31 and mom has secretly set up the microwave clock to 9:01) she will pretty much go to bed without argument. Of course, there are nights when she is watching something or playing on the computer that she will ask, "PLEASE mom, can I stay up just a little bit later??" and I can tell her that she can stay up until the clock says 9:07... and then she goes to bed without argument... most of the time.
So what do I do with this Crack Monkey??
3 comments:
I have no answers for you, but I had to tell you I was seriously cracking up when you explained the crack monkey "ritual". And then when you called Elizabeth Marigold (are you really doing that in real life?) I had to lol again!
P.S. You're not the only one with a crack monkey. I think it's just a trait of the May 04 baby! Except that we call ours a pinball. Geeze Louise!
You sound like you have a ton of patience, way more than I can dream of having. :)
Um, yeah, Nattywoo... when you figure out what to do with the crack monkey to get him to sleep in his OWN bed, WITHOUT mom sleeping in it with him, would you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know???????
I'm dying here with you on the crack monkey ritual - only the song du jour is a medley of "A B C", "Twinkle Twinkle" and "Baa baa black sheep" (which are all the same tune, but the lyrics go something like this :
"A B C D eeefffffffeeeeeeeee,
yes sir, yes sir, free bag fuuuuullllllllll,
one for muh masser,
one four four dane,
one for mmmmmmmmm BOY heodurksyghgysl LANE,
twinkle twinkle little saaaarrrrr, yes sir, yes sir, free bags fuuuuul."
Followed by a few shrieks of "AGAIN, MOMMY! AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!!!!!!"
Yeah, I look like ass because my beauty sleep is worth shit. *rolling my eyes*
God be with you.
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