adventures in nostrilland

Today, I went to lunch. I drove through the bank and deposited my check, then drove through Subway and got lunch, and then drove through the library and dropped off some overdue books.

My point of telling you this is not to illustrate how lazy I am, but just to point out that I never left the confines of my auto, and that my cell phone was beside me the whole time.

I get back to the office and get a frantic call from my mother in law. She is at Colby's daycare... they called her because he had a "foreign object" shoved up his nose. The daycare and my MIL had been trying to call me for the whole lunch hour and my phone wasn't ringing. (sure enough, I had 8 missed calls though.)

I went and picked him up, and took him to the Children's Clinic. The nurse practitioner spent over an hour and a half digging bits of crayon and a rubber band out of his nose. It was almost laughable... everytime we thought it was the last piece, there would be another behind it. When the rubber band came out, I laughed and and said, "OOOH!!! Next I want a diamond necklace!!" The doctor really didn't find it as funny as I did... But it was almost like a magic trick... I at least expected a mile long chain of hankerchiefs to emerge from his nostril or something... but no. Just more crayons.

Colby was, needless to say, not amused with the procedure. In fact, he got so hysterical that he couldn't breathe and was gagging. She was trying to get (what we thought) was the last bit out and he jerked and she cut the inside of his nose. So THEN we had a massive nosebleed. (Which did not, sadly, flush out the crayon.) We decided that he was too upset to continue. So I went and took him to my office, where we locked the door, turned off the light, and laid in front of the fan. We were both sweating from the tension. After about an hour of rest, we went and picked up his sister, and went back to the clinic...

Another hour later, we had four more chunks of crayon. (Once they started coming out bloody, I stopped collecting. So the photo only illustrates PART of what he crammed up his nose.) There was still one piece left. We had two doctors and two nurses in there by that time, and they just could not get it. So the doctor finally said, "You are going to have to take him over to the ER and let them call in a ear, nose and throat specialist. It is just too far up in his sinus cavity."

Meanwhile, he is throwing the MOTHER of all fits, and threw himself forward in my arms. And then he sneezed. Out came the last (dear God, please let it really be the last) bit of crayon. I won't tell you what else came out, but I will say it was really, really gross.

So, thank goodness for throwing tantrums.

I am going to go drink now.