Laaaaaaaaa Haciendaaaaaaaa

For the last six years, when we go shopping in Hot Springs, we eat at La Hacienda. And I am talking at least 98% of the time. They have been voted the #1 Mexican restaurant in Hot Springs for about the last 4 million years. However, it is one of those places that you are either obsessed with (me, Marty, my dad, my brother) or you abhor (my mom, my aunt Phyllis). And all the waiters know us by name. And know what we like. And they pat the kids on the head every time they walk by, because oddly enough, my kids are VERY well behaved in restaurants... well, in this one anyway.

It is NOT Tex-Mex, it is authentic mexican food, and their menu is seriously 10 pages long. How can you not like a place that gives you that many choices??

Except, for those that know me, I am not very adventurous when it comes to food. You would think that I was the rock climbing, sky diving, connoisseur of dining by looking at my waistline (and hipline, and breastline, and legline) but it is just not true. Red Lobster - always eat crablegs. Macaroni Grill - always Pasta Milano. Taco Bell? Mexican Pizza. Cracker Barrel? Meatloaf, hashbrown casserole, and pinto beans... you get the picture.

And at La Hacienda, it is the #6... chicken enchiladas with "special" green sauce. I have no idea what is in the green sauce, but it is YUM-MEEE. It has seeds, so I assume it has some sort of vegetable in it. Yummmmm....

So today, we go to Hot Springs in search of the Fucking Little People Fucking Garage, (as I have come to call it), and after combing the town, (no luck) Marty says, "You guys hungry?"

"YESSS!!" screams the chorus. Then he uttered the unthinkable.

"How bout we try something new today?"

silence. silence. silence.

Trying to control the tremor in my voice, and trying to be cheerful, easygoing wife, I say brightly, "Hmmmm... Like what, honeypie?"

"I don't know, just something different."

The kids are still staring up at us from the back, openmouthed. Ok, Elizabeth is openmouthed, Colby is really just sucking his thumb and watching traffic.

"Well, give me some suggestions. " I say.

"Jason's?" Marty asked.

"Um, don't they have, like, crawfish and stuff?" I say.

"EEEEWWWW!! I don't like crawfish!!" Elizabeth gags.

"Honey, they have stuff besides, that! Like steak and chicken and crablegs!!"

"If you want crablegs, lets just go to Red Lobster." I say.

"I don't want crablegs, I was just telling you that they have crablegs!" Marty replies tersely.

"But really, I only like Red Lobster's crablegs." I say.

silence. silence. silence.

"Soooo, I don't really want Jason's." I continue.

"Okkkkkaayyyyy. Fine. How about Cajun Broilers? Or Crazy Cajuns??"

"Can we just assume that I don't want anything to do with Cajuns or Crawdads??" I know that I am being a little unreasonable, but I know that I don't want something weird. Its been a hard day.

"Well, then how about Chili's?"

"No. We had bad service the last time we were there." Which was when it opened two years ago.

"Bennigans?"

"No. I am not really in the mood for that."

This goes on and on, until Elizabeth finally says exasperated, "WHY can't we just go to La Hacienda like we always do, daddy?"

"BECAUSE honey, that is the whole point! We ALWAYS go to La Hacienda! We need to eat something different every now and again." Marty is beyond frustrated at this point.

"BUT we LIKE La Hacienda!! Mom likes it and so does me and Misser Colby! And you dad!! You LIKE La Hacienda!!!"

Marty starts cussing quietly under his breath.

YYYYYYUUUMMMMMMMM!! Chicken enchiladas!!!!!