creating Super Children

They really should offer some sort of parenting class before you are allowed to deliver a child.

Not just to stop all the abuse and neglect, but also to let you in on all the "secrets" of parenting that you don't know about until too late. I constantly feel like I am ten steps behind all the other parents - like I am someone that was raised in another country and then dropped here like an alien with two children and I have to find a way to communicate with the natives and provide my children with a solid upbringing, without embarrassing them, causing them harm, or sending them out to meet other natives wearing the wrong outfits.

My parents never, ever let me participate in extra curricular activities. Therefore, I know NOTHING about sports, cheerleading, band... any of that stuff.
I always felt like I missed out on a whole secret club by not being able to hang out with my peers after school. I was so freaking jealous... even when it was just the science fair geeks getting to stay after school and work on their presentations. I would climb on the bus for the 45 minute ride home, and feel sorry for myself.

So, I decided my children would never have to feel this way. My children would be allowed to pursue their interests without worrying if mom would show up to get them or not. Because MOM ALWAYS WOULD.

On the other hand, I didn't want to create highly stressed 7 year olds who had so many activities going at one time that they didn't have time to lay around and watch a movie in their pajamas from time to time.

So, when Elizabeth was three, I decided she could do one activity at a time, at least until she was a little older and better able to manage more than one.

We started out with dance. She took Ballet and Jazz classes in 2003.

In 2004, she wanted to take gymnastics. MUCH cheaper than dance.

Starting in 2005, she found out about an afterschool church group that met on Wednesdays, United Methodist Kids. (UMK). She is still doing that and loves it, but over the last few weeks she has developed some sort of obsession out of nowhere.

Baseball.

She wants to know everything about it, all the rules, how to play, how to bat, how to throw, how to catch... oh, and of course what kind of outfits (uniforms) they get to wear.

So, Marty and I started calling around. We found two leagues for her age group. Marty called them while I was at work last week, and then he called me back. He said that they more or less laughed at him.

It seems that 6 is way too old to be starting to play softball. All of these kids have been playing since they were in Huggies, sucking their thumbs on the bench, only stopping for a nice cold bottle of formula between innings.

He was actually told, "At this age, softball becomes much more intense. They are learning the fast-pitch method, and since your daughter has never played, she would be completely overwhelmed and would seldom see field play. Now, soccer signup is right around the corner, but they don't start playing until the fall."

Well, she isn't interested in soccer. She is interested in baseball.

In short, I am a bit irritated. I didn't think that age SIX was a time for anything to become "intense". I missed that part of the parenting class, where they taught that in this day and time, your child must have already made all decisions on extracurricular activities. I guess we need to go ahead and start working on her Master's Thesis so that she won't flunk out of college. After all, she needs to be deciding what to do with the rest of her life. Jobs don't just grow on trees. Maybe I need to talk to her teacher about her taking some Intro to Anatomy classes at night, since she wants to be a "nurse that also does Art". Or maybe we need to look into Finishing Schools since she also mentioned that she wants to be a Princess when she grows up. We must stay on the cutting edge or she will end up a drug addict living in my guest room when she is 24.

So for now, I sent Marty to the store to get her a bat and a ball so that we can start playing in the yard. I was thinking he would get her a hard foam bat to learn with.... hell no, he bought her an official aluminum bat. It is PINK and it says "Girl Power!"... I asked her if she picked it out and she said "Yes." And then I asked, "What did daddy say about it?" and she said, "He said, don't tell mom how much it costed."