Orthodontaphobia

I hate the dentist.

I would seriously rather have a colorectal probe screening once a month than go to the dentist once a year. (And yes, once a year. FORGET about me going biannually... It is NOT going to happen!!)

I did good for awhile there, until my insurance stopped covering my dentist. I used that as an excuse not to go for the last two years. And now I am paying for it, a thousandfold.

A little background: Back in high school, (and I remember this like it was yesterday,) my mom, my aunt and I went to Little Rock to do some Christmas shopping. I had bought a couple of those Atomic Fireballs jawbreakers, (I was addicted to those things back in the day) and was happily chomping along while my mom drove. Suddenly, I chomped and the jawbreaker gave... only it wasn't the jawbreaker as I soon discovered when I was blinded by pain. It was my back jawtooth on the left side. It cracked it completely in half and half of it was in my mouth. As in, NOT ATTACHED ANYMORE. I went to the dentist the next day, and he said it was such a mess that the best thing we could do would be to pull it. So he did. So the last 15 years, I have had only one upper left jawtooth. No biggie. I really haven't noticed.

About 5 years ago, I had a cavity in the remaining upper left jawtooth. My dentist then was drilling away and suddenly I felt his hand slip, and he uttered, "OOPS!!" Not a very comforting word when you are me, and you are in a dentists chair wishing you were drunk. "Waaa??" I said, my mouth numb and full of torture devices... "Well, your tooth just cracked and broke a little. I think I can fix it though." Lovely. Just flippin lovely. He claims to have fixed it and it is not until that night when I get my feeling back in my mouth that I find I am left with a ragged tooth-shell. It is nearly all filling, and has a jagged point. I went back that week because the filling was not ground down enough and I was having a hard time eating and having headaches, and I asked him at that time if he didn't think it might be better to just have it capped, and he said "No. Caps are expensive and this will hold up for awhile. I don't like to cap if I don't have to." Whatever. You are the doctor of teeth, not me.

I went to him a couple of more times before he dropped my insurance. Or my insurance dropped him, whichever.

Well, Monday night, I was eating dinner and had a teeny bit of flash pain on that side of my mouth. Under futher investigation, I found that another piece of that tooth has broken off. (Aren't teeth supposed to be the strongest substance in the human body?? I think mine are made of glass!) So now I am terrified that I am going to lose that tooth, too. I will have to have a bridge. Ugg. I am 31 and 11/12ths... I don't want fake teeth yet!!

I made an appointment with my new dentist today. He is the only one that is covered by my insurance in a 50 mile radius, so I hope he is good. I can't get in until next Wednesday though. Now would be a good time to try that liquid diet.

About once a month, I have a dream that my teeth are all breaking off in my mouth, and I am having to spit tooth pieces all over the place, and Marty has actually woken me up and told me, "YOU are SPITTING all over the pillow! STOP!! Immediately!!!!!!"

This is a serious issue for me. Damn teeth. And don't let your kids have jawbreakers!!!!