look at all the pretty colors!! and the tag says "drink me!"

So I did.

Ugg. I never drink. Seriously. (By never, I mean like 3 times a year.) I guess that because of this, I am a cheap drunk. And since I quit smoking, I don't even take breaks from drinking to inhale toxic plumes into my lungs. It's just an all night slurpfest. (by all night, I mean about 30 minutes)

Lately nothing is quite going the way it should. I had a crapper day at work yesterday- and had a customer call me at 4:55 and want me to (insert insurance crap here that no one really cares about) and I told him that was impossible to do at that time of day because (insurance insurance insurance laws and boring regulations blah blah blah) and he was furious and chewed me out. Demanded to talk to my boss, and I told him my boss was fishing on the river... ended up being on the phone with him until 5:20, and he hung up mad. (We close at 5)

So I come home and tell Marty I want to run to the beer store (beer store - kind of like the whole coke/soda/pop thing... you say beer store even if you are going to get wine, or in my case vodka.)

I wanted to do what any responsible adult would do in my shoes... Put the kids to bed and get trashed.

I used to be a complete margarita girl. But thanks to the Office Party That Will Live in Infamy... (thanks Misty, for mixing those "margaritas"... A Misty Margarita is a glass full of Tequila and a splash of margarita mix for color. No salt because Misty doesn't like it.) I nearly hurl every time I smell Tequila... Not only did it make my clothes fall off, it made me puke in various locations, lose my watch, and pee on the ground. (the bathroom was too far.)

So, last night I bought the stuff for Chocolate Martinis (chocolate and alcohol... if it came with a side of hot gynecologist and a maid, it would be every girls dream... there is even a cherry in the bottom, so it is healthy too!!) and for Sour Apple Martinis. (Looks like antifreeze, tastes like Jolly Ranchers!! YUM!!) I had big dreams... Apparently thought I had turned in to Tara Reid overnight.

I had three (three!!) small drinks, and was snockered. And I had the irresistible urge to make an ass out of myself over the internet. First I made a very melodramatic post on the board (if you have not seen it, I am sure not going to point you in that direction!) and then I got into BBC chat and no one was there (well except for the April 05 moms and some group that I could not decipher. But just in case it was the Mom's Against Other Moms Drinking Alcohol and Getting In To Chat, (MAOMDAGITC) I decided not to go there. So then I went to Jody Evans Chat even though I am still nursing hurt feelings over there. (This would be the "trip" people for those of you in the know - for those of you that aren't, we were supposed to go on a trip, and they have edited me out.... another reason for my pissy week. Oh and they didn't edit me out because I am psycho alcoholic girl, but because they wanted to leave a day early and I can't, so they decided to leave me behind like an unwanted dog.) ANNNNYWAY!! The point was moot because after all that surfing, I was sick. I layed on the kitchen floor and let Marty take over the computer. Then I went to sleep.

And this morning, I feel like crap. And I didn't take my makeup off last night, so I look pretty crappy too. Time to stick all these bottles up on top of the fridge with all the other nearly full bottles.

I suck at being Tara.