when life hands you lemons, start throwing the damn things at your husband.

Well, tragedy has struck my little household.

Our computer died. It went quietly into that good night. I had just put the kids to bed for the night, and started dialing up as I heated my water for my cappuchino in the microwave. I went and sat down, sipping my drink, and enjoying the peace and quiet in the house. I checked my email, and then was loading up babycenter, and the whole thing went black. The motor stopped humming and there were no lights on the CPU. "Hmmm... I thought. Kids must have unplugged the computer." Our kitchen only has one outlet, so we have to plug it up in the living room and run the cords under the baseboards. Occasionally, one of the kids will run into the end table, which knocks the cord out of the wall.

It wasn't until I got in the living room that I remembered the kids were in bed. Hmmm... wonder if I hit the power cord with my big fat foot??

So I go back to the kitchen, and that is when I notice that the MONITOR has power. It is just the CPU that isn't working. Crap. This can't be good.

I call Marty.

"Hey, honey? I think the computer died."

"What happened?" he asks.

"Well, I was online and then it all went dead. Like the power quit to the CPU. It is just dead."

"Try shutting down and restarting it." Marty says.

Silence... silence... silence, while I think quietly to myself, "Uh... hello?? It is DEAD. There is no shut down and there is no restart. There is a 'prop it in front of the door and use it as a doorstop' option, would you like me to try that? " but instead I say, "Honey? There is no POWER. I can't restart it."

"Have you checked the plug and made sure it is plugged in all the way?"

Thinking: "Oh, check the plug!! The power went off and I never even thought about checking the plug!! Honey, I am so glad I married a big, strong man like you. I wouldn't be able to find my ass with a flashlight if I didn't have you around to help me out. There we go!! All plugged in and ready to run!!"

Saying: "Yes, honey. That is the first thing I checked. The monitor has power, it is just the CPU that has none. It won't do anything."

THEN Marty says, "Well, I will tell you what to try. Go to the file box and get the System Restore disks and run those. That might fix it."

Oh. my. gosh.

He is really not listening to me.

Thinking: "Oh my gosh!! You are not even freaking listening to me!! There. Is. No. Power. I can't run a disk, I can't run a program, I can't shut down, I can't restart. I can't check my email, I can't work offline. There. Is. NO. POWER. Do you see?? No lights. NO POWER."

Unfortunately, I said all that too. And then he got all mad and said, "Well obviously, you know what the problem is and all the solutions, so why did you even call me??"

I have no idea, you manly man.

So, until we get a new CPU, I am going to be computerless. It is going to be a scary experience that is hopefully going to result in me becoming a stronger person through adversity and deprivation. Kind of like the young Indian men who go on missions alone through the country as a rite of passage. Or like the people on Survivor that are dropped off on a desert island and forced to fend for themselves, with no luxuries. (only I won't have a TV crew, and will not come out of this a millionaire.)

I will be alone, in my house with no computer, no virtual contact with the virtual outside world all weekend. It will be scary, but I will survive. (First I was afraid, I was petrified, Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side... ) I will clean house, play with the children, go to bed at a decent hour, possibly even finish painting the cabinets that I started before Christmas.

Shit, it is going to suck.