I'm baaaackkkkk!!
I had the freaking flu last week. I have never had the flu before, and it is not fun. Actually, I don't know if it was the flu or something worse, because I actually had every sickness symptom there is. Fever, headache, body ache, runny nose, watery eyes, congestion, throwing up, the opposite of throwing up, chills, sweats... I even got my period in the midst of all of that, and did not have any supplies. I told Marty that I was sorry, but he was going to have to make a trip to walmart. This was when my fever was topping out at 103 degrees... and he said, "What if I drove you, could you go in and get them?" He is breaking out in a sweat, and starting to tremble.
I will never understand this fear of sanitary napkins. He is worried to death about what people will think... I keep trying to tell him, if someone at walmart sees him buying Kotex, they will think, "Hmmm. Marty's wife is on the rag. Bet she is a bitch." There are some items that I would never ask him to buy:
1. panties, thongs or otherwise
2. nipple shields
3. KY jelly.
4. pregnancy tests (although it might be fun just to see how many people called to tell me that they saw Marty buying pregnancy tests... it's always fun in a small town to be the one to blow the whistle on the husband.)
5. Vibrators
I try to be accommodating to him, because he does embarrass easily, and I do not. But there was no way I was going to Walmart. He ended up calling my aunt and begging her to go and buy them, and then he went and paid her double for them.
I have black market Kotex. My aunt is a Kotex dealer.
4 comments:
NOOOOoooo! Seriously? LOL! He actually had your aunt go buy them? My gosh, it's not like they're used already! Sheesh!
I. Love. Your. Blog.
Natalie, i love your blog, too. You are soooo funny.
That was a hoot. And i agree on all the things u mentioned that u buy yourself.
Hey, on the kotex box it says something about them being "Ultra quiet.. shhh"
Are they keeping a secret? Does kotex think they can help women convince people they aren't OTR despite the zits, frazzled hair, bloating, and crease between your eyebrows?
It could have been worse.. Marty could have handed E the money and told her "take these to that checkout lady over there and give her this money. I'll be waiting *right* here.. hurry up, mommy REALLY needs 'em!"
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