why am i so cranky??

*Comic courtesy of www.nataliedee.com

Are all women as mean and cranky as me? I spend half my time wanting to choke the life out of people that have no sense, and the other half wanting to choke the life out of the people who have sense, but have pissed me off. I have more or less infinite patience with my babies, but that is about it.

I was going to somewhat summarize this and tell you a few things that are going on, but it dawned on me that someones feelings would be hurt by every last thing I would name, because so many people have my blog address.

Generally?

* The Jody Picnic (julie, you know why.... grrrr!! Will you help me choke her??)
* The May Mom's Conference (sorry if that makes anyone mad, but it is pissing me off...)
* The Pillsbury Dough Boy and that godforsaken microwave. His stupid roaring and beeping have gotten me almost caught about 57 times today
* Scrapbooks and the people who invented them
* BEING CHUBBY (i can admit that here)
* Walking 5 miles a day, and pulling 70#'s of children in a wagon for 3 of those 5 miles, and still being FAT
* Being poor and fat
* The woman at the office that keeps telling me that colby is never going to walk if i don't force him to... what do you want me to do, tape nails to his knees????? Put him in a walker and tie him to the bumper of the car???
* My friend Tasha is coming to spend the night tonight with her kids, (YAY!) and I asked my marty to please clean up a little... I have called him twice today, and woke his lazy ass up both times. Somehow, i don't think things will be clean.
* HOW HARD IS IT TO LEARN A 3-LINE PHONE SYSTEM?????????????????? Our new receptionist has been here 9 weeks and still has not figured it out. She makes me want to choke her on a regular hourly basis. Plus she is CONSTANTLY barging in my office. I want to scream at her, "A CLOSED DOOR IS GENERALLY CLOSED FOR A REASON!!" If I were brave, I would get buttass naked and sit in my chair with a corkscrew, a picture of Sally Field, and a package of frozen spinach and just wait gleefully for her to barge in and teach her a damn lesson about knocking, but I am not brave. Nor do I wish for anyone in my office to see me naked.

Speaking of office nakedness, I have been walking (as i mentioned) every day. I walk 2 miles before work in the morning, and three in the evening with the kiddos. I obviously do not wear my dress and heels to walk the trail before work, so I have to change clothes once i get here. That is a really weird feeling, being naked at the office. Just thought I would share.

Seriously, am i really the only cranky bitch in the world?? How do you girls do it, focus on the rainbows and sunshine and flowers and puppies?? Or are you just better at hiding it??