Colby is a handful. I always thought that people with exuberant children just needed to be more assertive parents.
*insert hysterical laughter here*
But Marty and I are both pretty assertive, and Colby doesn't seem to care. He laughs at spankings, scoffs at time outs, and generally is... well, a loud, goofy, bright boy.
We had some last minute shopping to do on thursday and decided to brave Hot Springs. We left right after work, and went to eat at Applebee's first. I knew it was going to be a not-fun night pretty much immediately.
We always put Colby in a high chair when we go out, even though he is huge, because that is the only way we can MAKE him sit through a meal. (And we always get "the look" when we ask for a high chair... you know, the one that says, "Isn't that kid, like 5 or something?" But it is better than him heading off to the kitchen to see if they really make the Philly Cheesesteak with canned dog food.)
As soon as he saw the high chair, he freaked out. "I BEEG BOW-EE!! I SIT BEEG BOY-EE SEEEEET!!!" Marty and I forced him into the high chair... and he began WAILING. After nearly a full minute, we conceded defeat and got him back out and put him in the big boy chair. No, he didn't stay there. But by that time, I had ordered a margarita and I just started drinking. Fast. Then I got the slush headfreeze. Then our food took FOREVER, and it sucked once it got there.
After a really bad dinner, we then headed to the mall. We went in through the JC Penny entrance and Marty had to go to the bathroom. We get back there and, of course, that is where they were displaying all the really expensive, extremely fragile, blown glass ornaments. Colby suddenly grew 15 hands and was groping everything in sight.
When Marty came out of the bathroom, I asked him to PLEASE just take Colby back to the car. I knew what I needed and swore to him it wouldn't take me 20 minutes, and that was preparing for a line. If there was no line, I could be out in ten. He agreed.
But as we were coming back out of the hall to the bathroom, I ran into an old friend of mine, and she had her two year old. (Who sat very quietly and cutely in nice stroller.) I chatted with her for about 5 minutes, when Elizabeth came and grabbed me and said, "I can't find Colby!"
I turn around and Marty is standing there looking shocked. I had not been watching because I though he was heading back to the car.
Marty, Jennifer and I all head off in different directions, calling Colby's name. We all made a complete round of the store, and didn't find him. Jennifer headed off to find an employee, while Marty and I kept looking frantically. Meanwhile, Elizabeth is following me bawling her eyes out and and bemoaning about what a bad big sister she is because she lost her baby brother and he was probably kidnapped and we will never see him again... (I don't know WHERE she gets her "expect the worst" gene.)
I vaguely hear them announce over the intercom, "If anyone sees a two-year-old, brown haired boy wearing a black sweatshirt and black and gray camouflage pants, to please take him to an associate" and for "security to please report to the main desk" and some other stuff that I couldn't hear for the roaring in my ears.
I kept a level head. Seriously, I always do in times of stress, which is one reason I briefly considered being a paramedic. (Until I realized that there would be blood and dead people.) It wasn't until they called security that I thought, "Oh God, I hope he didn't get outside." Then, in my mind, I saw his little soft, compact body heading out into the highway, and getting hit by a car. I never thought it was a kidnapper, I know how he likes to explore. I was just worried that he had explored his way into complete and utter danger. THAT was when I started panicking.
He was missing about 15 minutes, when I heard Jennifer yell that she had found him. He was BEHIND the jewelry counter. Giggling. The jewelry clerks never even noticed, which makes me think now might be the time to teach him to shoplift.
I am now 10 years older, and I am getting a leash that he is going to wear until he is 21.
6 comments:
My heart was racing as I read your story.
As a mother of a very active 2 y/o boy too, I'm beginning to think that leases can be a good idea!
Merry Christmas to you and your family -
tracy
Thanks to this story, last night I had a nightmare that I lost Ben in the mall. Ugh. What a horrible experience!
Scary! I was in the mall a couple of weeks ago and a woman lost her little guy temporarily. Hannah and Sarah and I were in the food court and could hear her calling, "Ethan! Ethaan! Eeethaaan! ETHAN!!!!!" I swear, I felt her panic all the way to my toes. I can only imagine how you must have felt.
I don't know how you held it together for that long! The very thought has me in a panic as I sit here.
Ughh... I know that feeling of despair all to well. I've lost three out of my five at one time in each of their lives.
Hannah was 2 at the mall. Crista was 3 at Scarborough Faire. Misty, most recently, was lost to our 2-story storage building, but my mind saw her heading for the pond.
I've got a leash, and I'm not afraid to use it.
Oh, and Nat, reading this a second time reminded me of a "grace of God" moment at Disney. There's a bus system at Disney to transport guests from their resorts to each of the parks. We were waiting to board the bus from our hotel to Epcot, and a little boy around Colby's and Matthew's age gets in line and climbs on board in front of us. But he didn't appear to be with the people in front of him...so I stopped Keith from getting on the bus and called out to people around us..."Is this little boy with one of you?" No. No. I kept calling out while Keith got on the bus to check on the boy...who was indeed sitting all by himself in the front.
Thank goodness someone was walking up to meet some people, noticed, and pointed to a group behind me--"Wait! He's with them!" I guess the group was big enough that everyone thought someone else was keeping an eye on the boy.
So then the mom ran onto the bus to get her child. The whole thing probably took less than two minutes...but, as we rode the bus to Epcot afterward, I was practically in tears thinking about what could have happened to that little boy. If we hadn't noticed...if that woman who knew him hadn't walked up...The "what ifs" really hit me. That child could have wandered heaven-knows-where by the time his family figured out he was gone.
Keith was watching over the boy when his mom got in the bus to get him--she said to him, "I guess I'm not getting the Mother of the Year award."
I'm sure she loves her child. Just like I know in my bones you love yours. And that's enough of my rambling.
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