Conversations with the Princess and the Parrot...

My children. Lord, I love them. They also have the ability to make me repeatedly bang my head into the wall.

The Princess: The princess lives in her own little world of make-up, pink, and clouds. She has a very hard time remembering day to day things, but can tell you all about her wedding, and the wedding CD that she is going to pass out to people AT her wedding. (Thanks, Misty!) She can also tell you all about what teenagers like, and how she wants her dream room. She can talk on the phone for HOURS, and yet cannot tell you the simplest thing about her day at school. She is SEVEN.

Friday, I pick her up from school, and after chitchatting a bit, I say, "Did you turn in your homework?"

She flips her hair, licks her lips and says, "OOPS! I forgot." In a little singsongy voice. "I will do it next week."

"Elizabeth, that is NOT the way homework works!! You don't turn it in when you feel like it!! You turn it in ON FRIDAYS, when it is due!!"

Her reply, "Ooops!!" My reply? *bang, bang, bang*

Today, I pick her up at school. She told me yesterday that she was running for school president and she had to have 10 signatures to be nominated. So I ask her, "Did you get your 10 signatures?"

"Oh, I got nine, I saved one for you!"

"Um, didn't you say that you had to turn it in today?"

"Yes."

"Where is it???"

"At school. I need you to sign it."

"HOW CAN I SIGN IT IF IT IS AT SCHOOL AND HOW CAN YOU TURN IT IN TODAY IF TODAY IS OVER??????????"

Elizabeth flips her hair and licks her lips and giggles, "Oooops! I don't know!!"

*Bang, bang, bang* goes my head on the steering wheel.

The Parrot: First of all, I am really not complaining all that much about my son. He literally just started talking two weeks ago. But he has this horrid habit of repeating the last word I say, and then asking why. FOR INSTANCE, this morning, we are driving to school:

Colby: (pointing out the window) Whas Dat?
Mom: It is a church
Colby: Church? Why?
Mom: Because that is what the builders built it to be.
Colby: Be? Why?
Mom: Because I guess that is what God told them to do.
Colby: Do? WHY?
MOM: Because people need a place to worship.
Colby: Erchip? WHY?
Mom: So they don't go to hell.
Colby: Hell? WHY?
MOM: Because that is where they go if they are bad and don't worship.
Colby: Erchip? Why???
Mom: *bang, bang, bang*

He also is asserting his power over me. I got a note yesterday that he peed and pooped in the potty all day at school. He seriously wore the same pullup all day. No accidents. I bring him home and ask him if he needs to peepee.

"Nope." He says.

I put him on the potty anyway. He cries. "Coppy down! No peepee pah-hee!"

And then promptly peed in his diaper.

The other night, I put him on the potty and he said, "I no peepee pah-hee. I pee pee bafftub." And I said, "No, we don't pee pee in the bathtub. We pee pee in the potty like big boys." and he said loudly, "NO! Coppy peepee bafftub."

Guess who peepeed in the bathtub?

That's a start, right? Tell me it is a start.