UH UH UH!!! (Hmmm... where is my million dollar house???)

I need to make a list of all the things that I said my kids would not do... before I had kids. Because I am having some massive pre-kid flashbacks now.

The newest one is the "grunt, point, and scream". Maybe you know of it. Your kid wants something, but lacks the verbal skills necessary to say, "I would like a piece of cheese now, mommy." So instead, they point and grunt, "UH UH UH!!" and if you cannot read their mind, they meltdown into a screaming mass of writhing baby.

Before I had kids, I had a friend whose kid did this exact same thing. Yes, he was older than Colby is now, but still. He would come in the kitchen where we were talking and start grunting and pointing, and my friend would jump up, ignoring whatever we were talking about and start saying, "What is it honeypookiepie?? Does my wee babyboo need some milkywilky? No? what about a poppytarty?? Does sugarbutt want an applewapple?? No?? What about a trip to disneywisneyworld and a ride on the Mad Hatter? How about a Wexus Convertible??" etc. And she is running around the kitchen, ripping things out of the cabinet and offering them to him, while he is... screaming and grunting and pointing.

I remember going home after these visits and telling Marty, "When WE have kids, they WILL ask for what they want. That kid is big enough to freaking talk, she just doesn't make him. She needs to be tough, and stop that cartwheels shit every time he whimpers!"

Yep. That is exactly what she should have done.

*Sigh* Go ahead and laugh. Karma, and all that.

We are up to about 15 words with Colby. Unfortunately, "Mama, I would like some milk in my sippy cup." are not any of them. He doesn't even call me mama. He calls me Daddeeee. Marty is dada. (Lorraine, this never fails to make me think of you and Mary. LOL!!)

So instead, he does the point and grunt. And I, of course, do cartwheels to try and figure out what he wants before the screaming starts. I do tell him what he wanted after I figure it out.... like, "OH! Colby wanted a banana! Here you go, Colby! Here is your banana! Can you say banana??" I swear he is smirking at me while heading back to his chair with his banana...

It isn't too bad when he points at something easy, like the front door. "Sorry Colby. We can't go outside and play. It is 9:45 at night. The buggywuggies are biting."

But when he stands in the kitchen and points towards the cabinets with that grunting, there is just no telling what he wants. It could be anything from cereal, to raisins, to chips, to a sour apple martini, easy on the ice.

And I do cartwheels every time trying to figure it out.