four things that make me insane...

(there are WAY more than four, but these are on my mind today...)

1. When "people"* borrow my durango because they don't want to drive their shitty truck, and they take out whatever cool cd I was listening to so that they can put in their own lame cd. Wouldn't be so bad, if they would put my cool cd either:

a) In the magical handy case that came free to protect the cd when I bought it, or;
b) In the travel carry case that I keep in the passenger seat of the car for this express purpose.

Instead, these "people"* just toss my cd in the air and let it land where it may. I am missing my four favorite cd's right now. And I am not amused.

2. Other drivers. I want my own lane. If I am this cranky now about other drivers, I can't imagine how I am going to be in another 20 years. I think you should have to retake your driver's test every time you go to renew your license. Seriously. I know the rules of the road and I want to smash into people who do not drive correctly. Like me. And don't pull out in front of me, unless you intend on speeding away because you are being trailed by the cops, or your wife.

3. Water Saver Toilets. If there is one thing in my house that I do NOT want to preserve energy, it would be the toilet. When you flush my toilet, there is a small trickle of water, and most of what is in the bowl swirls around a little bit. I HATE PLUNGING.

My dad's house was built by a plumber. You must get off of the toilet before you flush, or your butt will suction to the seat by the force of the water shooting out of the house. You might even have to call the fire department to bring in the jaws of life. That guy knew what the hell he was doing. No self respecting plumber would use a water saver toilet.

My house must have been built by a bulimic.

4. Shopping. I really do not enjoy shopping. I don't like trying on clothes. I don't like picking out birthday presents. I do, however, like to buy cards. Is it cool with everyone if I just send you all really nice, heartfelt cards for every occasion?? If you think about it, it really is a better gift than anything else I could give you. Say for instance that I come to your wedding shower (misty, nicole) and I bring you a toaster. And on my way home, I die. It is going to be hard for you to use that toaster without thinking of me. You will want to return it to ease your pain, but guilt will not let you. After all, it is the last gift I bought you. So, for years you will be stuck looking at a toaster and being unable to use it.

Now, if I just bring a nice card to the shower, and then die on the way home, you can say, "Wow. How lucky am I that Natalie poured her heart out to me in this card right before she died. I am going to stick it in my bible and read it when times are hard." And that is the end of it. You can remember me when you need to, instead of my memory being tied up in a household appliance.

So, cards. Suprise!!

* "people" as in my husband, Marty the careless CD bandit.